When God puts you in your place.

Last week Twitter got my panties in a wad (yes, I like that expression.)  It's all too often that I watch the comments fly back and forth and can feel my face getting red.  I really can't believe some of the things I read.  Nothing is off limits there- politics, religion, hairstyles, blogging, cyber bullying, weight loss, kids clothes, budgets, breastfeeding, cloth diapering, co-sleeping...  I realize the "issues" in other circles are probably much different, but these are the things that fly around my feed.

It starts to feel like high school all over again.  These girls against those girls.  "She ignores me." "She won't accept my follow request." or "She doesn't follow me back."  It's frustrating because on many levels I look up to so many of these women and then they disappoint me with their actions.

I was realllllllyyyyyy fired up and ready to write a smack-down post, up on my soapbox and shaking my finger at all the hypocrisy I was reading.  I thought on it a few days, jotted down thoughts I had about it, but ultimately decided it wasn't going to do any good.  It's not like any of those long-time tweeters read my little blog.  So what would be the point?  I wouldn't get under anyone's skin.  I wouldn't attract any attention.  Which is really what this boils down to, right?  Everyone just wants attention. To be validated.  To think their thoughts matter....even if it's putting other people down.

Sunday rolled around and it was one of our weeks to teach Sunday School.  (I use the term "teach" loosely, we really just help with an activity before the lesson.)  The verse of the week was

Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. James 1:19

Wow...yeah, that was God tapping me on the shoulder. 

Was I quick to listen?  Yes, you can believe I can dig back through those conversations to make sure I'm getting the whole story.

Was I slow to speak?  On Twitter/the blog? Yes.  At dinner with some of my favorite local Twitter girls?  No, not at all.

Was I slow to become angry? Are you kidding?

Then, just in case I hadn't gotten the point, during the service we sang Though I May Speak With Bravest Fire.  That's what my blog post would have been....bravest fire.  Bravery only because I was some kind of fired up.  

Singing the first verse was like a smack in the face.

Though I may speak with bravest fire,
and have the gift to all inspire,
and have not love, my words are vain;
as sounding brass, and hopeless gain.   

Now I certainly don't think I have the "gift to all inspire."  I write for me and I hope maybe someone will enjoy reading my thoughts.  But if I'm not writing out of LOVE it is VAIN.  This is the truth. 

That post would have been full of hopeless gain.  Would it have changed anyone's opinion on what they believe or how they behave? Doubtful.

From now on I will try to put love at the forefront of my mind when I'm reading tweets and blogging.  I'll try to look past the off-putting things that someone I admire might say.  I need to love them regardless of differing opinions.  And I first need to remember to speak with love.      

Lilly Pulitzer Spring 2012: My Favorite Print

Happy Monday, y'all!  What is better to kick off the week than a look at a new Lilly Pulitzer Spring print?!?

via Lilly Pulitzer

Each season I seem to fall madly in love with one print.  For Spring it is the ah-mazing Lilly's State of Mind Patch.  I really enjoy the quirkier prints that have a little more back story (though in the last several seasons it seems they have been really been focusing on the inspiration for more of their prints) and I also LOVE a patch print!  Call me crazy, but I think it's fun to look at all of the details in the prints...and this one has 50 different designs!

They introduced this print in my favorite Rosalyn Skirt and Callahan Shorts, and also in a few new and improved dress designs-embellished with lace- a classic Lilly detail that I adore!

The Ricci Shift is charming, but I dare say a little young for me.  I know, I know....I could probably pull it off, though some might giggle at the shoulder bow. 

Source: lillypulitzer.com via Amy on Pinterest

Second is the Adelson Shift, a classic shift with geometric lace details.

Source: lillypulitzer.com via Amy on Pinterest

And then the dress that must be in my closet- the Mariana Dress. I hope this is as fantastic in person and on me as I imagine!

Source: lillypulitzer.com via Amy on Pinterest

Have you looked at Lilly's Spring line yet?  Do you have a favorite print?

Our decision for me to stay at home- A link up with I Pick Pretty

You've heard me mention Mrs. Pretty here and here and odds are if you asked me to name a few of my favorite blogs hers would be one, if not the first, I would list!  Today she is hosting a link up to discuss making the decision to stay at home with your children.  How often I forget that to some this is a foreign concept--like last week during a Junior League icebreaker when I listed SAHM as my job and a woman asked me what that was.  (I also thought it curious that some SAHMs felt the need to list their previous career as a footnote.)

Our (and I'll say "our" because my career of choice would not be possible without Mr. Banker) story began a looonnnnngggggg time ago.  Let me take you back to 1998. That's 14 years ago if you don't feel like counting.  We had been dating for about a month and like many teenage couples did we were walking around Walmart. (I know, I know. They didn't have Target yet. Actually, they still don't have a Target.) Somehow we got talking about how many kids we wanted and we each said 2. Meant to be, right? Just so you know, this conversation has been brought up anytime I mention maybe having 3- "but we agreed in Walmart we both wanted two!"  I also mentioned that I'd really like to be a stay at home mom.

In case you didn't believe me...see we were babies!

Both of our moms had stayed home with us and then went back to work when the youngest was in school.  It worked for our "families of origin" (how's that for a pre-marital counseling term?) and we thought it would be important for our family.

Fast forward to 2007.  I started wearing down on Mr.'s "five years before a baby" plan.  He was at a great place in his career, we had a few vacations in the works and I was crying hysterically anytime someone on tv or a movie was pregnant or had a baby.  We started trying after we returned from the 2nd vacation and got pregnant right away. A lot of my hysteria was fear that it could take a long time to get pregnant...but Big Bear was born 2 months before our 5 year anniversary. Close enough.

One of the hardest parts of our decision was the transition at my office.  I didn't intend to deceive them into thinking that I was coming back at all, but I wanted to at least give that impression for a little while.  From the get go a few of my closer co-workers tried to fight me and tell me there was no way I was going back, and they were right.

I gave about 3 months notice.  I wanted to be up front that I was leaving the position.  I didn't want the almost non-existent maternity leave the company offered.  I wanted to have all my ducks in a row, the position cleanly transferred to my successor and a definite end date. Type A all the way, friends.

Is that how it happened? No, not really.  Everyone was supportive, but also in denial, which didn't make my job any easier.  They finally chose an internal person to take over my position and that was probably two weeks before the end date I had chosen (two weeks before my due date, thank you very much.)  I supported a team of 7 people and my manager didn't want to tell them until the new person had been chosen. So for months, literally, they were asking me about projects and things that would be going on long after I had left.  It was frustrating and I was really relieved when the news did get out and even more so when my last day finally came.      
  
Here are some of the more common questions I get:

1. Do you miss work? No, no I don't.  Do I miss being able to shop at TJ Maxx on my lunch hour? Yes. But that's about it.  I don't dream about getting dressed up, fighting traffic and dealing with people who expect me to bend over backwards for them (ha, I already have that at home!)  I have found ways to fulfill my need for validation through Junior League, work with our church and blogging.

2. Well you'll go back to work someday, right?  In some way, I probably will.  But as soon as the boys are in school I don't see myself jumping back into a 9-5 job. I don't know how we would make that work logistically or monetarily. I wasn't raking in a huge salary and I'd venture to say that if I went back to work right now it might not even cover the cost of daycare for the boys.  Ideally I'd love to be a trophy wife for a few years and then find a fun job that I really love.


3. Do you really like staying at home? Yes, I love it.  The days are long for sure and it's not easy, not by any means.  But I love that I get to learn them so well and see every aspect of their personality. I love that the boys and I can pick up in the Summer and go stay with family for a week.  I love that the boys get to play together and aren't separated all day. 

I really needed to write this as a reminder of how I am doing what I always wanted to do.  There has been little sacrifice and things have seemed to have fallen into place.  I know this is not the case for everyone and I am truly blessed.

Thanks for reading our story and make sure you hop over to I Pick Pretty to read some other great ways families have made the decision for a parent to stay at home. 

New Feature: Blog Sale

Good evening, friends!

Mrs. Pretty gave me a kind shout out today on my previous boy clothes post.  If you know me then you know I'm a little clothes obsessed and I definitely spend as much if not more time picking out clothes for my boys.  Before the Spring consignment season starts I thought I would open up a sale to y'all!  I have added a page under my header and will tweet about any new additions!

Happy Shopping!

A Day in the Life: Day 2

Yesterday was a great day!  Really, far above average.  That's not to say I wasn't wiped by 6:00, but documenting my day like this has really helped me think more about what I was doing.  Almost like y'all were watching me....in a non-creepy way. Ha.  On to the day...

Another 5:30 wakeup call.  Coffee.  I decided to make a pot of steel cut oats, since they take 20 minutes to make.

Sit down in my spot and work on yesterday's blog and watched RHOBH.  It took me 1.5 hours to write that blog.  I'm the world's slowest blogger.

7:30- I go get the boys up. They usually stir a bit and I think it's great that they don't cry (or scream) as soon as they wake up.

Someone's having a crazy hair day!

After breakfast I get the boys settled with some activities and run and get dressed for the gym. 

A much more typical OOTD.

Get the boys dressed and in the car by 9:00. A small battle won on this day when BB agrees to wear his new New Balances.  He did ask cry for "the brown ones."  I reminded him how they had broken, so maybe that was a good thing.  He even posed for me

Head to the gym where upon arrival BB exclaims "We made it!" Oh gracious, he keeps me rolling.

An hour of kickboxing (i.e. my imaginary time to beat up people) and then we are back home around 11 for snacks.  Apples and Nutella for me.  Yes I licked the bowl.

11:30 LB goes down for nap.  BB goes to the playroom

I leave him in the basement and I tackle some chores- finding a recipe for supper- decided on this Tex Mex Crock Pot Chicken

Unload the dishwasher, enter food on My Fitness Pal, check Twitter.

BB comes back upstairs and magically agrees to clean up before lunch.  See, awesome day.

We have lunch and then I decide to turn on a movie.  Typically BB would go down for a "rest" at this time, but we needed to leave at 2:30 to run some errands.  This seems to happen once a week where we need to skip nap for one reason or another.

I take the time to chill on the couch for a little bit, clear out my Google reader and such.

At 2:15 I wake LB up.  He's not too happy about it, but we manage.  Boys get loaded in the car again.  We hit the dry cleaner and then Sonic Happy Hour!

Met up with a woman who bought one of BB's outfits from the sale I linked up with on Kelly's Korner back in December.  She works nearby, but only one day a week so it took us a while to work out a date. 

On the way home I realize it's pretty gorgeous outside for January.  I decided to do something we don't do often- play outside!  I know as a boy-mom I will need to get better about this!  Last Spring/Summer BB was still not trustworthy enough with his listening/running skills, especially when I had to watch out for LB too!  I turned down many a park playdate because I was just too chicken to risk a toddler tantrum + infant in tow. This year should be fantastic for getting out more!

I got that car at a consignment sale in the Fall.  Works well for containing LB! BB is still working on pedaling, but he has fun trying.

Then we went for a little walk...down 5 houses and back :)

And then we played some basketball. Or he brought me the ball and clapped for me when I made 1 of 10 attempts.  All that fun and we were really only out there for about 40 minutes.  I'm glad most days still include naps!

Inside for snacks and more playing and an episode or 2 of Bubble Guppies. BB has first and only timeout of the day for running over LB with that walking toy. Now that is the sign of a good day!

Mr. Banker calls at 5:20 and was just leaving work, so he wasn't going to make it home for supper before heading to a seminar.  We eat supper and then play some more.

By 5:45 LB is ready for bed. My boys like their sleep and with interrupted/no naps they go to bed earlier.

Getting him dressed I realize his top tooth broke through!

This is the point in my day where I'm just tired and done.  I've been up for 12 hours and I just want to chill on the couch.  And I'm happy to hand over some of the responsibilities to Mr. Banker. But he's not home, so BB and I watch Fresh Beat Band.

He wanted ALL of his animals in bed last night.

He's down by 7.  I get a shower, finally. Tis the life of a mom.  I parked on the couch and watched Anderson and thought about commenting on some blogs but my mind was so tired I didn't have much to say.  Replied to a few emails. Avoided FB and Twitter because of Bachelor/State of the Union talk.

Mr. Banker got home around 8:45. We're both wiped so we talk for a few minutes and then decide to go to bed. Exciting night at our house!

So that was our day.

Did we get things done? Yes. 

Did we have fun together? Yes. 

Did we watch too much tv? Yes.

Did we I eat ice cream (and not record it?) Yes.

I hope you enjoyed the little peek into our life.  This is it, really.

A Day in the Life: Day 1

I have seen other bloggers do "day in the life" posts and I always enjoy them.  I thought I would do my own!  Prepare for picture overload.  This is how yesterday went for us and tomorrow I'll post about today because our school vs. non-school days can differ vastly.

I've started getting up at 5:30.  I set my alarm for 5:10 because I need 2 snoozes! And it's labeled with the promise of coffee.

This day I actually take a shower because I have to register BB for next year's school.  

Coffee in my favorite mug!

I start the first of 4 loads of laundry today!

Then I get situated in my blogging spot to bust out an awesome post about my rear end (keeping it klassy here) when this guy decides he needs a potty break!

His potty break is actually helpful because I realize that it is raining and freezing. Awesome. Finish my blog post and go finish getting ready.

Here's my own little contribution to the Messy Mom Monday posts going around. Yikes.

OOTD: Merona stripe tee w/ sequins, Old Navy Sweetheart jeans, Hunter wellies

I realize it's 8 and the boys are still sleeping (thank you, rain!) so I go get them up! 

I decided to try out a green smoothie.  I thought this would be a great way to get some veggies in BB.

Or not.  BB asks me to "throw it away."

Scramble around to get the boys dressed. BB plays with the iPad for a little bit.

Drop BB at school.

Rush in to school in the rain to register BB for next year.  His classes are first come first placed but we got the class we wanted and it only took 20 minutes! (Last year I was there with both boys for almost an hour, not fun!)

Home by 9:45 and I try to unload the dishwasher. Someone decides to help.

LB has more breakfast because he really didn't eat much when he got up.

I check Twitter, make a Words with Friends move, log food on My Fitness Pal, take the dog out in the rain...

10:15- put LB down for nap.  Come back downstairs to dog mess on the floor (since he didn't want to go in the rain. Natch.)

Switch loads of laundry, put some laundry away. Clean up BB's room.

11:15-Realize I didn't start the washer when I switched the laundry. Yay.

11:30- Check computer and received an email that said a college classmate of mine had passed away over the weekend.  I didn't know her extremely well, but we had danced together in some skits.  She always had a smile on her face and something funny to say.

Not really sure how to feel, so I do what I do best: sit on the couch with some peanuts & dark chocolate M&Ms

12:15- Cole gets up and has lunch.  I reload the dishwasher (it seems to run at least twice a day.)

12:45- We leave to go pick up BB

Get home and I realize the sole has come off of BB's favorite pair of shoes. Add that to the "Needs" list.

The boys play for a bit...LB had way too much fun chasing these Duplo blocks around.

1:45- LB goes in the jumpy with his favorite DVD.  I put BB down for nap.  He has to have the exact same routine as bedtime, so it takes about 15 minutes.

2:15- Put LB down for nap. Trip on the Duplo LB was playing with. Make a phone call and discover mystery stain on sleeve. More Laundry.

3:00- LB is crying (he hadn't gone to sleep.) Do some dishes and vacuum so I can't hear him crying. Still using CIO distraction tactics.

Nope, nap time is not happening. Go rescue LB and we have a dance party in his room. And put away laundry. Laundry, Laundry, Laundry.

4:00- Last chance at LB's nap. Fingers crossed. What do I do? Put away more laundry!
4:30- I sit! Check email, twitter, etc. Mr. Banker calls and he's on his way home. Yay!
5:00- Boys wake up. They get a small snack and play.
5:30- Daddy's home!
6:00- Supper time. Leftovers (yay!) Skinny Taste Asian Turkey Meatballs- a new favorite!
        BB has major tantrum during dinner. That's fun.
6:30- Bath time!

We bathe the boys together in our big tub.  They love it!

7:00- LB goes down right after bath.  BB and Daddy have some more playtime.

7:30- Bedtime for LB.

7:45- Retreat to basement with Mr. Banker to watch last week's Parenthood.
8:40- To bed to read a bit.
9:30- Sleepytime.  Yes, 9:30.  This girl needs her 8 hours.